Once the dog stops eating your homework, the baby will eat your brain

So last year there was pregnant brain. Everyone knows about pregnant brain. I can’t think straight / I can’t remember, I’m busy growing a person. For me, I found it most poignant in my COMPLETE AND UTTER inability to understand the directions for putting together the crib. You think I’m just saying this to get out of putting together the crib. But no, I actually did “help.” I sat with my husband the whole time reading the directions to him without comprehending A WORD of them. Nothing. I sat there wondering how single moms do it. I mean beyond all the other stuff, how do they get their brains to work well enough to set up a nursery?

Then you have the baby and there’s new mommy brain – I haven’t slept since sometime before the day several weeks ago when I passed something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a grape, so no I don’t remember what you were talking to me about.

But now we’re 5 months in and I’m wondering if this excuse is getting old to anyone. There’s a woman I work with who is very happy to allow me this excuse for anything. Whenever I ask her a dumb question, she says – it’s OK, mommy brain! Her daughter is a little over a year older than mine, but she jokes she can still claim it too. Hmm… I wonder if she’s going to announce she’s expecting… Otherwise she’s just the nicest person on the face of the earth.