Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Could you please stop talking to me?

So I think I’ve mentioned that my husband is a fire fighter / paramedic? Anyway, he was working last night and delivered a baby this morning. Apparently the woman was 41 ½ weeks pregnant and pretty far into labor, but didn’t want to go to the hospital. He told her we can do this here, but REALLY let’s go to the hospital. He finally convinced her to get into the ambulance when “her vagina was all swollen, but the baby wasn’t crowning yet.” (OK, I well know that your vagina is nothing much to look at during the process of giving birth – or well, it’s definitely something but not anything you’d WANT to look at. I made them take the mirror away from my own vagina during birth – because really? Do I want to see that? The epidural has me quite comfortably numb, but if I see it, I’ll realize it probably really hurts / will hurt later! And would I then watch the episiotomy? I mean – oh sorry… was that too much info here? Anyway, the point is, regardless of its state, isn’t one always happy to hear about the OTHER vaginas her husband is looking at?)

So he was in the ambulance with her and trying to talk her through the process. He said – here, I’ll breathe with you. I just did this with my wife and can do the breathing along with you. So he’s doing the hee-haws (fine, hee and ha for the literalists) when she turns to him and says – could you just stop talking to me?


He’s always gets mad at me when I say that to him…

Anyway, she delivered a healthy baby boy on the side of the road (once he started arriving, the ambulance pulled over) and all went well.

1 comment:

  1. HA HA, now that is funny! So much for trying to "he-ha!" with the lady. I think, for some women, it's the thought of the inevitable.. going to the hospital means the baby is on the way and that you're going to be in a LOT of pain. Something I think a lot of women don't realize is that.. Mrs. Inevitability is going to come smack them in the face whether they're in the hospital or they're sitting on the side of the road in an ambulance.

    My choice?! I'd go to the hospital. I wouldn't want a bunch of random strangers watching me make a specticle of myself on the side of the road. No thank you.


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