A decision on work

After many tears and having to face my own fears and inner demons, I think I finally found a solution on the work front. I decided to see what my part time options are. If I could work 3 days a week (ideally the 3 days that my husband is home), then we could avoid daycare, I could work some and contribute and there might be balance. I was really excited about my option – though not sure how flexible my boss could be on those rotating 3 days…

So I called him and decided to throw it out there. He was totally cool with it. He said he didn’t know how it worked, but I should call HR and work it out with them and he’d support it. I feel like a weight has lifted. This is perfect.

It took a few days to get HR on the phone, but finally I did and they said that if my boss was cool with it, so were they and I was good to go. He just needed to send something to them. I sent him a message with the details. And then waited. A day passed. Hmm…

So I called him. And … I knew it was too good to be true. He was no longer cool with the part time option – he just didn’t see it as a part time job and said it put me at risk in layoffs (what? A package?!). He couldn’t support it. As a compromise, I’m allowed to work from home (as much as I can) two days a week for the next 2 months (rotating days is fine) and then one day a week long term.

Argh. I know it’s hard for management and he doesn’t want to lose headcount and all that – but I hate that he said yes! It makes it so hard. I know I’d be an idiot to say no to his offer – I mean, I can still be physically with her a couple of extra days (though I can’t imagine how stressful this balancing act will be) for awhile. And it gives me time to figure stuff out / decide what I really want. So I know what I have to do. I just hate it. After all that agony of making the decision the first time, now I have to make it again.