Now that I’ve given notice, it’s amazing how flexible everything is. I can still work from home two days a week – or more if I want. All the stuff that was transitioning to me while my colleague went on maternity leave is not now transitioning (well, most of it). I have to admit that that was part of what was tipping the scales towards leaving – a lot of other stuff was about to get piled on. I knew I’d be working long hours. It wasn’t just that I’d be spending 40 hours of work away from my baby. It felt more like I’d be leaving in the morning before she was up and barely making it back for bedtime. There was also the issue that I’d never see my husband… But now those aren’t an issue. I do still feel tethered on my work from home days, but it’s all short term.
And then I had the weirdest conversation the other day. I was working with another director in my group on my boss’s org chart (don’t ask how I get these things) and he mentioned that he was sorry to see me go. I mentioned that I’d wanted to come back part time, but that since it wasn’t an option, I was leaving. Well, he was up in arms! What did I mean that part time wasn’t an option? It’s the 21st century! Did I still want part time? He’d follow up! He’d champion in.
The problem was… I wasn’t entirely sure I did want part time. I mean, it would be smart. We could use the money. It would be good… But … Well, I’d just had to make this decision. Again. But then again maybe nothing will come of it.