Monday, March 8, 2010

Her first real cold. AKA My God, My God, why have you abandoned me?

Note - this one was actually written a couple of weeks ago and I forgot to post it... So yes, the muchkin is just fine now!

Last week I started to notice the munchkin had a bit of a sniffle. OK, not a big deal. She’s had the sniffles before. Of course, the last time was when my husband had the swine flu, so I took her to the doctor anyway, and the doctor looked at me like I was totally crazy because she really wasn’t sick at all (but everyone else on the planet was in the middle of flu hysteria!).

This time, though, she was starting to really actually get sick. From a bit stuffy on Saturday to full on coughing and snotting all over on Sunday. Now, as we’ve just moved, we’ve just switched doctors for her. We’re actually still with the same overall practice, but have switched the office we go to. Actually, maybe that’s not exactly true. This place seems more like a chain that’s franchised out offices in both places – like they’re not that closely related, as it turns out… We’d chosen the first office because they had really great hours – open till 8 most nights, Saturday morning hours and Sunday morning emergency hours (i.e., they are open every Sunday morning, but won’t do regularly scheduled appointments then). We figured this decision was paying off when we called at 9 on Sunday. Except the new office does not actually have Sunday hours. Ugh. Well, we thought about it and we haven’t actually gone to the new office yet (her next appt will be there), so why not just call the old office?

My husband called and spoke to the nurse there. Once she realized we had switched offices, she attempted to blow him off as fast as she could and suggested we didn’t need to come in. This annoyed him. He cut her off to say – why don’t you let me finish telling you the symptoms before you tell me she doesn’t need to come in? So he did. And having some medical training, he sounded all professional when he explained it – I listened to her chest yesterday and it was clear, but this morning her congestion seems to have moved into the lungs, though she is still afebrile (doesn’t have a fever). His concern was that these types of things can progress really rapidly in babies (and it seemed to have moved so quickly from yesterday), that he wanted to catch it fast. Anyway, I can’t remember all the terms he used (I would never get away with this), but he pulled it off and the nurse asked, ‘Can you hold please, Doctor?’ Now while he never actually said he as a doctor, he didn’t disabuse her of this notion. Instead he said, I think she’s probably fine, but I’d really like to have her checked out as I generally see adults, not children (note – this is an entirely true statement. It’s just that he sees them as a paramedic, not as a doctor.). And, in the spirit of “professional courtesy,” they fit her in.

We arrived at the office and Dr. Dad continued to use proper medical terminology as he explained what was going on to the nurse checking us in. She looked at him and said – ‘oh, are you a doctor?’ Now, he obviously wasn’t going to lie outright (and hey, we were already there anyway!), so instead he said –”No, but I play one on TV."

Yes, we are THAT old that we’re quoting that ancient commercial! But it was always one of my favorites – I mean, how ridiculous? I’m not a doctor. Actually, I’m an actor on a popular soap opera. But let me give you medical advice.) Anyway, apparently our nurse was not old enough to catch the reference, so she instead said – really? You do? Oh gosh… (OK, if you haven’t seen that commercial, I can see how you would probably take that statement at face value and assume he was serious, but it was pretty funny to us.) He explained, no, not really. And then reiterated, but I deal with adults, not children. (So again – the impression that maybe he is a doctor is still sort of there, but he’s never said he is.)

Anyway, the doctor finally came in (I wonder if he would have gotten our reference!) and checked the munchkin out. It turned out that luckily the congestion hadn’t moved to the lungs – what we were hearing in her lungs was actually an echo of the congestion in her head/throat (but her body is so little, it sounds like it might be in the lungs). He said – the good and bad news is – it’s a head cold. She’ll be a little miserable and very snotty and coughing for awhile, but she should be just fine. And if she’s not fine in a few days, bring her back.

And that was that. Thank goodness! The baby will be fine, but we are truly ancient and decrepit parents who make bad 80’s commercial references. It’ll be just a few years before the munchkin is driving us to our gerontologists and reminding us to put in our teeth first.

I know this is only the beginning. Once my child gets older the moments where I feel 104 will only increase, but I guess I should be prepared. Tell me your stories of those first times your kids made you realize you weren’t a kid anymore and made you feel a bit outdated. (If it’s happening already, I’m sure her teenage years are going to be a real blast!)


  1. THe commercial reference to the eighties commercial is better then the more recent commercial where the people just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express and are suddenly smart enough to be doctors and scientists. Funny tha the nurse did not catch it. My boys make me feel old and young every day.

  2. A cold?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

    The Cute has a schtuffy nose, but she's loaded with energy. She's a machine. I'm just really annoyed that she had her first cold. Poor baby. (She didn't seem to care.)

    That's from a commercial? I've heard that saying a million times. But I never knew what it was from. You've educated me.

    When I'm a faux-something I'm usually a faux-lawyer. I find it interesting that no one questions it. I guess Legally Blonde changed our culture more than we know.

    *Spews legal jargon*


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