Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Choosing a babysitter

We were invited to a good friend of ours surprise 40th birthday recently. Wait – let me go back. Our friend’s husband called us two month’s ago to say another friend was planning a surprise 40th for his wife on one of 4 days (Fri or Sat of two weekends) and wanted to know which we could make before he told her date (and also wanted my help on addresses). So we’ve known about this date for quite some time. And there’s no chance we can miss it because it was actually planned around our schedule.

Fast forward to last weekend when I asked my sister in law to watch the munchkin (my husband always says he’ll ask, but then forgets to, so I thought I’d just take care of it). Unfortunately she was busy. I said, no problem, I’ll ask your Mom. To which she said – well actually, I’m going to a concert with her, so she’s busy too. Well, crap…

I mentioned this dilemma to a friend of mine in Baltimore who said, you know, I think I could actually come down and watch her. Perfect! Until I told the hubby… See my friend doesn’t actually have kids, so his concern was that she might not have a lot of experience with babies. I felt like a total ass, but told my husband I’d ask to alleviate his concerns. I apologized profusely to my friend when I asked (I mean, she’s doing us a HUGE favor and, hello, she’s not 16. She’s a 34 year old woman who is not an idiot. The kid will be fine! Yeah, so she may not be totally “stimulated” and may not know her alphabet by the time we come home. Whatever! It’s a Saturday night. This is not her regular daycare.). Unfortunately, she didn’t have a lot of experience with babies (but I stand by my original assessment of her abilities). So my husband starting asking if we could bring the baby (yeah, I think that’d be a no) or suggesting that he could stay home with her (even though it was planned around him).

So I pulled out the big guns. I asked my Mom. My email went something like – I probably won’t need you, but just in case. I know this is a HUGE favor and I know you’re going to PA that week (for my sister in law’s surgery) and you have a ton to do. Is there any chance? She said yes, but, and I quote, “you’ll owe me.”

I told my husband of our backup plan. He looked befuddled – so your Mom would drive all the way down here just to watch the baby? Then he thought – but we’re not guest ready! (See all the move in details) How long would she stay? Etc., etc. Suddenly my “inexperienced” friend looked much better.

He looked at me and said – are you sure you’re comfortable with her? I exasperatedly answered – yes! But look, if you’re not, my Mom can come. To which I got – shut up about that! Your Mom is NOT coming! (Remember, we’ve JUST moved out of his parents’ house. He’s really enjoying being in a parent-free (except us!) zone.)

So my friend drove down from Baltimore – got stuck in traffic, finally made it. Because her own life is crazy busy, she decided not to even stay the night – so we didn’t get to hang out a bit with her and make her breakfast. She came down JUST for this. And I’m the asshole who asked about her prior experience. (She told me her resume is now updated with this experience, so she’s good to go.)


  1. awww but she's your friend, so I"m sure she doesn't think you're a jerk. You're a first time mom leaving your baby...plus does she know your hubby? She probably knows he was the propellent behind the question, if she knows him. I bet you're good to go, and maybe you could send her a Starbucks gift card or something with a little Thank You, since she sounds pretty damn awesome :)

  2. Leaving the baby with anyone is tough but sound like you've got a great friend there. Hope you hubby appreciates her now too.

  3. Yeah, I'm sure your friend understood. As a mom, I now shudder to think of all the people who trusted me with their babies when I was a teenage babysitter! Good heavens!! Glad you were able to get a night out, though. It feels amazing, doesn't it?


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