And now for some answers

In response to my request to know what you want to know/hear about, Ian immediately jumped up with the following questions:


What do you want to get out of blogging?

When I started… hmm… well, I think at the beginning maybe I did have some dreams of “setting the world on fire” and really going somewhere with all this. Could it be my new career? Ha – probably not! But… I think that was just what got me thinking about it in the first place. Even not knowing how many bloggers are out there, I knew that was pretty unlikely. And, honestly, I’m not sure that would have motivated me to move forward. It definitely would not have motivated to keep it up!

The REAL reason was… I started blogging right around the time I went back to work. I’d been writing different things – drafts and lists and thoughts and all that – but my mind had been all over. This was true all through pregnancy, but the real stress came when the baby arrived! No matter what anyone had said, no one prepared me for the crazy hormones! And then, the decision to go back to work, to leave my job, wait no – to stay at my job part time – those were impossible / crazy / like nothing else. Around the time I started to blog, I was finally thinking I was finding some balance. And I wanted to share some of process in case it could help anyone else.

What are your goals?

Well, the big one was to honestly share some of the fears / challenges / disasters – and greatness that was going on so that other people feeling scared, overwhelmed or like a disaster themselves could see they weren’t alone in it – and particularly as it was getting better to share the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t think I realized how many more fears and challenges (and disasters!) were yet to come – or how much greatness.

Now my goals are more, hmm, concrete – to try to write reasonably regularly just to get in the habit of writing again. I used to love to write, but then time and life and God knows what got in the way and I stopped. I’ve never been good about journaling, but I seem to do this a little more (well, at least a little).

Have you achieved any of them?

I don’t know. My original goals were sort of outward facing and I have no idea if anyone has found my journey or any of my struggles helpful. But, I think I’ve approached it honestly, so I can say I’ve achieved that one!

My goal of reasonable updates seem to be getting a little tattered these days.... Oops… Ok, I’m working on it.

Do you plan on having 6 more kids?

Not on your life! Or mine! Or my sanity! We’re starting to think about another one, but we’re more of the 2 or 3 at the max type. First, I’m 34, so 6 more kids (unless I become my own version of an octo-mom – but only 6, so that’s totally achievable, right?) isn’t all that realistic. But it was never a goal of mine anyway. I love my daughter and my husband and I love focusing our attention on her now. If we have a second, that’s fine, but we really don’t want a huge family. We want to love whatever (whoever) we get and not go crazy! ;)

I was at a family party this weekend and my aunt pointed out a niece on the other side of the family who has a 9 month older daughter and is expecting a sibling in November. She said – “no pressure, but” and introduced me. I looked at the Mom and said, “well, you’re a little crazy!” I think she took it the right way (but then later learned that her English isn’t so good, so she just might not have gotten it at all – which probably also works well).

So... what about you?

I've been feeling like my blog is getting a little dry and... well, uninspired, recently. I started out writing this for me - and I know I'll never set the world on fire with it or achieve fame and fortune. But hey, I would like to know what you want to hear / what you're interested in. A year into the life of the monkey, I think I'm getting a little stale...

Although, to be honest, I really always thought all the great parenting stories came once they started talking - inappropriately... in front of your grandmother/minister/boss/etc. As she's only got a few words still, most of my stories tend to focus more on the fact that I got pooped on TWICE this week - and peed on once...

Anyway, this post is a shout out to you. Is there anything you want to see? Questions you want answered? Comments that I really should have highlighted better?

Hope to hear from you!

Yes, I'm still alive

But we're starting the forecast and I'm planning a semi-surprise trip away (he knows we're going away, just not where)for my husband this weekend (the monkey is going to grandma's! Our first night away - I'll pack extra tissues for me), so all feels chaotic.

I'm going to try to get a post or two in (I lost a follower for the first time today and realize this must be because I am delinquent... or crap... ugh) this week, but will definitely do my best to catch up later. Thanks!

New look

Hello all!

You may have noticed that my little face lift has FINALLY happened! Well... is happening... As you can see, the links at the top don't all work yet, but we're getting close. And this is all thanks to Krista at Rocky Run Designs!

Please stop over to check out all her cool work and say hi! And keep coming back to visit me (please!) as we finish the facelift over here!

Disclaimer: I know this has taken about a month since I first said a new design is coming! That is ENTIRELY my fault for being indecisive or even unresponsive on occasion when life got busy. Krista has been great - very patient and great about following up (without being annoying!).

One small year for baby sweetness, twenty five big years for dotcom - Should I thank Al Gore?

Ok, I know this is a bit random - not to mention a week late, but I can't help but write a small post on this milestone...

I started using the internet "for real" in 1996 to get some background data for a research paper in college. My roommate had recommended that their might be some good stats on the web and when I looked at her blankly (crickets), she offered to show me how to use it. I can't believe I just had to write that... But it's actually true. I know I should 1000 there. But, um, you've been to my site - you have a good sense of my "natural computer ability" here. (note - I can absolutely LEARN computerese! Given years of practice, I'm actually really good with excel and access and can do just a little bit of sql - none of which helps in web design. And one more plug for delinquent designs here who has promised to fix the ugly for me! But I digress.) I think she was probably showing me how to turn the d@mn thing on as much as anything else! Also - remember - this is 1996. Google doesn't exist (again - can you imagine?), so God knows how I even found the information I was looking for.

But thus began my relationship with the internet. I'd had email before that, but let's not get into a pre-internet email description of vax machines - it will make all our heads hurt (no, I honestly can't remember how it worked - yeah, I'm not only that old to have used them, but also to have alz heimers). That relationship has grown and grown (to an obsession!) and here we are now.

So what was my point? I was actually a little late to the internet. It had actually been around since... March 15, 1985 (yes, that's 25 years this month) when the very first .com domain name was registered (in case you're wondering, it was www.symbolics.com). And, as I am writing to you in this blog on that funny little interwebby, I thought - why not give some props? A happy birthday message, if you will.

And, why not also back up that I am actually THAT big a geek to know this stuff.

So for today's prompt... do you remember when you first started using the internet? I know for a lot of people reading, it's been there your whole life, but you probably weren't logging onto symbolics (via aol dial up?! ;) ) on that first day, so where did you begin?

Just a little nip and tuck

Some of you may have noticed (or even commented!) that the ol' blog design here is looking... well, a wee bit shabby. Really? The original blogger layouts? Come on! My sad attempt to get some backgrounds from The Cutest Blog on the Block that went so awry (by the way, I'm not dissing that site at all. It is a verycool site with lots of free stuff that has helped a lot of people. I am clearly too dumb to blog, though, as I can't seem to get it work for me.) It's been suggested (mostly by my inner voice these days) that maybe it's time I stepped it up. I've got over 200 posts - I guess I can no longer claim that I'm new to this and I'm doing content first and will make it pretty later...



So finally, to the rescue has come one awesome fellow blogger who will soon be giving us a little facelift! So stay tuned! And go visit Krista for some ideas for you - I believe she has a favicon giveaway this week.
Check out http://delinquentdesigns.blogspot.com

Where exactly do you think you’ve been lately, young lady?

So, in my blogging absence, a lovely commenter said in response to my note that it’s been very busy – I can’t wait to hear what you’ve been up to. I have to admit… This is a lot of pressure! Cause, crap… I’m not sure I did much of anything. I know it wasn’t all that exciting. Oh man… Here goes nothing.

Well, let’s see – there was the snow. And the ensuing digging out that seemed to take a full week in northern Virginia. My office was actually closed for 3 days – the days a week that I work. Though one of my colleagues told me she assumed a closed office meant we had the day off, I didn’t assume the same thing – as it was pretty clear to me that that was not my boss’s assumption (37 emails and phones calls later…). Now normally I like the opportunity to work from home on occasion. In the pre-baby days, I could move laundry between emails, have lunch with my husband and take calls in my sweats (or jammies)! Then, in the early post baby days, working from home was pretty difficult when I was home alone with the baby. She actually didn’t require much from me those days and would lay happily on the couch next to me (surrounded by pillows, so there was no chance of falling!) while I worked on my laptop. But I always felt like a total shit about that. The poor kid must have been bored out of her mind. Nothing to stimulate her (she was really too young for much of any sort of toy) and Mommy barely paying attention. Then I’d stop to focus on her for awhile and feel like I was being completely irresponsible in my job. (Yes, the baby is more important, but I’ve made a commitment to the job too.)

Anyway, we’ve moved out of those days – the monkey isn’t about to sit quietly while Mommy is on the computer. The cords are so pretty! As are the outlets over there (thank goodness we finally gotten the cheap outlet covers that stay in!) and the fireplace and… You know the drill. But my husband was home those days as well, so we were covered. The problem was – they wound up being incredibly busy work days! There was no “let’s ease up a bit to go for a walk in the snow or check out that sledding hill” (OK, she’s too young for sledding, but man it looked like so much fun when we saw the neighborhood kids there!). I was tethered to the laptop – with everything running slower as I queried the server. Sadly, it actually would have been better to be in the office. (I shudder to say it!) In fact, we got to my days “off” and my phone kept ringing again as deadlines had been pushed up and all was in a frenzy.

Yeah, I know, this is the way of the world and such a complaint is no different than what anyone else has about their job (and I am particularly lucky to even have the luxury of part time), but whatever! Being a grown up stinks!

The Friday of our snowmanji week was the monkey’s birthday. So my Mom was flying up Thursday and we had company coming on Saturday afternoon. It occurred to us that maybe it was time to finish putting our moving boxes away… Oh dear. When Mom arrived, I said – look, we’re sadly sort of at that point in cleaning where we’ve pulled everything out… but have not yet put it back away. Could you just avert your eyes? Happily, though, she watched her favorite (only) grandbaby while we finished up and now we are FINALLY feeling settled! Yes, the horribly ugly kitchen wallpaper still stares at me. But we actually have some pictures hung as well! (None are hung in the kitchen over that wallpaper as it is so busy that it gives me a headache all on its own. I can’t add design to that wall!)

The munchkin’s birthday was good (but I’ll update that one separately as this is getting pretty long already!). Sadly, given our changed deadlines, I had to go into work on Monday though I was supposed to be off. Ah well, it was a busy and productive day. I missed getting to spend the morning with my Mom before she flew out, but on the bright side she could watch the baby for me so I could work – and we all know who she REALLY came to see anyway! (Luckily, my sister in law had the day off and babysat for us in the afternoon.)

Then the last part of my absence… the end of last week. OK, I have no good explanation whatsoever for this. I was just plain exhausted. I don’t know what it was but I was totally worn out. I saw some friends on Thursday afternoon and as I left their house I thought – when this baby naps this afternoon, I’m napping! Sadly, she napped the whole car ride home and it was all I could do to stay awake for it! I had to push to stay awake till her bedtime (it’s ok – she head butted me anytime I was completely falling over. Nice of her…) and went to bed right after she did. S adly, I still felt the need to nap every time she did on Friday and struggled through my day till I could go to sleep right after her again on Friday. Saturday we had some friends over for dinner – something I’d considered cancelling as it meant I couldn’t go to bed at 8:30… And Sunday I worked on my 'nap when she naps' schedule again.

Yeah, so really about half my absence was explained by sleeping. I’m so cool – living the dream, baby!

Alright, so I haven’t really written anything that opens up questions, but you’ve been so kind as to listen to me ramble, so I do want to hear about you too! So… how do you deal with illness / exhaustion while being a mommy (I somehow forgot to negotiate in sick days to my package) – esp if your husband is working / not available? What gets you “snowed under” (yes, bad pun intended) that you disappear for a week or two? Or, how long does it take you clear up moving boxes (by the way, I don’t mean to imply two months later that we’re DONE or anything! Just closer) and/or make a place start to feel like home?

Blogging for dummies....

Yeah, so that new header didn't work out so well... What's truly sad is - I didn't think I saved it. But apparently I did. Is there anyone stupider than me out there?

And yes, by the way, yesterday when I said I couldn't get links to work, that does mean that apparently I've forgotten how and can't seem to figure it out again.

Really, seriously, there are dumber people somewhere in the world... right?

Make me feel better and tell me the dumbest thing you've done recently or the stupidest mistakes you've made blogging. Feeling like the only dumb person is really putting a crimp in my Tuesday. (It doesn't help that we seem to be out of coffee...)