This bites

So even before she had teeth my little one on occasion would decide to clamp down on my nipple when breastfeeding. And, let me tell you, even without teeth – this hurts! Now that she does it with teeth, there’s usually a small scream (from me!) involved. The pediatrician has suggested there is nothing to be done to stop it. I try telling her no, but she doesn’t understand. On occasion, I get kind of mad at her! But how do you “get mad” at a 7 month old. The best I can do is pack up my toys (well, boobs) and go home. She gets rather abruptly handed to her Dad – who always says, you seem kind of angry with her for that – like that’s a crazy reaction. You should see his reaction when she pulls his chest hair and kicks him in his … sensitive areas!

Still trying to figure out sleep… (to Ferberize or not to Ferberize. When to check?)

Things started out really well on the sleep front. Well, not started out. Nothing starts out well – those first 3 weeks are hell on wheels. But very quickly our daughter started sleeping for longer stretches – 8,10,12 hours and even letting us sleep in. We kept joking that it would all come back to haunt us one day. But we figured one day was years from now – like when she was a teenager. We didn’t guess that one day would start during infancy.

I mentioned we’d had some issues at 4 months, but had sort of managed to correct (well, plus or minus…). Well, since the move, things are getting a bit out of hand. I know it’s our “fault” as her schedule and routine got really messed up in the move / the new place, but I’m having such a hard time correcting. The fact of the matter is, it’s clear that she no longer seems to be able to fall asleep on her own. I’ve tried moving her bedtime up, as she gets VERY over tired and can’t seem to settle, but nothing seems to work. Even if I try to nurse her to sleep – unless I hit it exactly right, she wakes up when I put her in the crib and it’s all over…

So we’ve discussed our options and I began my online research. Do I let her cry it out? Do I try Ferber? Do I sit with her while she cries it out (so she’s not nursing, but not alone)? Do I cradle and rock her and possibly nurse her till she moves out of the house? And I discovered what every mother discovers – no one knows! Some people say let them cry it out, as it’s really important for their development. There’s the Ferber method of periodically checking on her – which would be great (I’m not neglecting you. I’m here. I’m just not being manipulated.) except that seeing us come in, but do nothing for her, just freaking pisses her off! Others say that our biological imperative is NOT to let our children cry it out because going back to caveman days, a crying baby would have attracted predators – it would have been neglect and/or harmful to the clan as a whole.

Now I know that EVERYONE has an opinion on this. And most people think their opinion is the only way to do anything. The fact is – I can’t seem to get myself to a final opinion. We’ve tried Ferber the last few nights and last night… well, had odd results. She cried for a long time. After awhile in checking on her, I noticed all the drool and remembered she seemed a little fussy so thought – well maybe she’s teething. I decided to give her some Tylenol. She cried again when I put her down for a little bit, but then she stopped, so I assumed she’d gone to sleep. I waited a little while to make sure she was really asleep and went in – and she wasn’t asleep. Her eyes were open and she just looked at me, but didn’t cry. I rushed back out (trying not to be seen, which I assumed would induce crying – but I think she saw me). Her Dad checked on her when he got home about an hour later – she was awake (or was not deeply asleep and woke up) and saw him too – but no cry.

Have we broken her spirit?

Home Sweet Home

So last week, the hubby and I were actually both off on Saturday (this feels rare) and decided after running some errands to drive by our *maybe* house. He’s apparently been out to visit a few times (not that we can go in, but I guess it gives him a better sense that there likely aren’t squatters – human or vermin-wise – and nothing major is falling into disrepair. As it happened, our timing was just right to go to church near our house, so we decided why not.

Now 5:30 does not tend to be optimal time to take the munchkin to church, as it is a prime eating time for her, but she mostly did OK for awhile. The people sitting near us (very near, as the church was packed!) played with her a little and were all clearly grandparents (that’s who goes to church on Saturday night, you know! I can clearly remember going then with my own grandparents if they were babysitting us. We had to arrive at least 30 minutes early so that they could get their parking spot and Grandma could get her seat – which we were not to move from! No scooting in for anyone else – we got here early and got the aisle!) and therefore found her to be adorable (which she is!). Anyway, maybe about 15 minutes in, she got a bit fussy so Dad took her out to the vestibule. After about 5 minutes, an older woman tapped me on the shoulder as she took my husband’s seat and said, I don’t think he’s coming back, do you? I’ve done this routine with him before so I knew he very likely was coming back, but am I seriously going to kick an old lady out of a seat? A seat I’m not even actually using right now? Of course as soon as she got settled in, he came back. She was about to give up the seat when the man on our other side offered up his seat instead (neither of which my husband felt comfortable taking, but eventually did come to sit by me – for about a minute until the munchkin starting crying again!). On the second cries, it was my turn to go out with her and try to feed her. I passed the man who’d just given up his seat on my way out and told him that he could probably hang on to it. Anyway, I got to the vestibule and it was pretty packed there. There were no seats to be had, so I sat on the floor, put on the feeding wrap and let the baby eat. I headed back in (as ‘my’ seat was still empty, as the other man had moved) and as I got to the row, I joked with the older woman that she might want to switch with me to give us (back) the aisle as we can be in and out a bit. I guess she thought I was asking her to move / give up her seat, as she went to stand in the back again. Now I felt like a total jerk – I just stole a seat from an old lady! At church! I tried to get her to take the remaining open seat, but I guess she’d had enough musical chairs. So we made it through the end of mass with my wondering how much time in purgatory I’d added with that one…

Anyway, we wound up talking to this other family after mass, who I’d noticed had a baby about the same age as ours. She was not their first, though. No, no… she was their EIGHTH! Yes, eighth, like after 7 and before 9 (as I don’t doubt 9 may yet be on the horizon). We asked about schools for the kids and she told me she homeschooled (8 kids! At home! All day!). My husband said, God bless you! (with the tone that said, no way would we consider that!) She started trying to sell me on how easy it really was and I started to wonder about this place we’re moving to… OK, seriously, we can only afford this house with both of us working anyway (unless this blogging thing suddenly takes off as a big moneymaker, which I’m somehow not seeing…), but also, as my husband pointed out, our child needs to leave the house and be taught by others, as she’d wind up really opinioned if she only got our views. I joked that she’d be the only kid in the very conservative Catholic homeschooling group going, but I don’t see why women can’t be priests?

Bedtime!

After several nights of spending an hour and half or two hours in the nursery with an overtired baby who would not go to sleep (two nights ago, I tried setting her in her crib. She cried for more than 10 minutes, so I went back in. An hour later, I tried again and it took a full 20 minutes of wailing before she settled and went to sleep. I know that was best for her as she truly was just overtired, but it was so hard to hear such pitiable sobbing and not go in.), I decided it was time to try something new. In the past (my wondrous 7 months of experience), we generally fed her and she got a bath around 7:30 or 8. If it was on the earlier side (7 or 7:30), she’d sometimes catnap for half an hour or 40 minutes (just enough for us to eat dinner!) and then wake up for another hour or so before going to bed around 9. I had tried putting her down for the night at the catnap, but she really wasn’t ready then and would wake up (fully awake and let’s party). The evening nap seemed to work well for her – it kept her from getting too overtired, but she was still ready for bed.

It occurred to me now, though, that maybe the evening nap was really when she should be going to bed. The last few nights she has been OUT during that nap. She wakes up looking a bit tired and sort of confused and grumpy (I hadn’t noticed immediately as that is much the way that I normally wake up). But then she’s up – yawning and rubbing her eyes and overtired, but unable to go back to sleep.

So last night I decided to just put her down to bed when she got sleepy after her bath (7:30 or so). I figured if she woke up in 45 minutes or an hour, I’d treat it like a night feeding – just got in and nurse her with the lights off and try to put her back down. If she was really fully awake, I’d deal with that (and have another night of the 2 hour bedtime routine), but hopefully that wouldn’t be the case. And, crazy thing – it wasn’t! She actually didn’t wake up for another feeding and slept from 7:30 pm to 7:30 am! I guess the downside (if this is now her bedtime) is no more sleeping in on the weekend for us (we’ve been spoiled with a baby who will sometimes sleep till 9 or even later!), but it does seem a much better schedule for a 7 month old.

I reminded my husband that one night does not a pattern make, but here’s hoping!

Cereal and veggies and fruits, oh my!

time to introduce fruits and vegetables. First came carrots. I tasted them. I know why she made that face (I like carrots, but this overcooked mush – yuck!). She did better on sweet potatoes and squash – moderately. But now we’ve hit applesauce. She’s looked at me like – where have you been hiding this stuff?! I can’t wait to see how the transition to green vegetables will go after that…

The crazy thing about adding in the fruits or vegetables is that those 2 servings are on top of the 2 servings of cereal. I’m starting to see my day fly by in a flurry of (very slow!) feedings. It’s only a teaspoon full of the new fruit or veg, but it still seems to take twenty minutes! Twenty tear filled minutes each time. Then there’s the inevitable outfit change (more food on her than in her – I’ve started keeping aside “feeding outfits” to limit the stains). Sometimes I’ll stop in the middle of the afternoon and think – did I take the dog out? Huh, come to think of it, I had to pee a couple of hours ago – did I ever do that?

High rollin’ in her high chair

We decided to go buy a high chair this past weekend. To date, we’d been feeding the munchkin in her swing (at first, she didn’t seem ready for a high chair and then it was just one more thing to move…), but the swing was a bit low and therefore not a very comfortable way to feed her – and just probably not ideal overall.

So we headed to Babies R Us – let the agony begin. We learned to fear Babies R Us a bit during the initial baby registry process – seriously, there’s a whole wall full of different bottles! How are these different? Which is the right one? Oh crap… We got there this weekend and headed to the high chairs – ironically, it’s actually not a much larger display than bottles despite the relative size of high chairs v. bottles. But which one? What the heck is the difference? My husband liked the pretty solid wood one, but I pointed out that we didn’t actually have to buy the most expensive one (OK, so peg perego was more expensive, but I still wanted to direct him to the other end of the display). We agreed to eliminate all the most expensive ones as we couldn’t see any difference between those and the moderate ones. (We eliminated the cheapest ones because in that case we could see a difference.) We eliminated the super girly ones – just in case we have more children (my husband keeps claiming that he is positive he is going to wind up with 3 girls. I asked him who would be the mother of all those children as I’m not at all sure about 3! Let’s work on the one we have. I also noted that while he’d complain terribly about being outnumbered, he absolutely loves his little girl and would probably love as many girls as he’d get and if it turned out that way, despite any complaints, he’d secretly not want it any other way. But I digress. Oh, he did have to throw in that he was sure he’d be surrounded by women all on their period at once and it would be awful. I pointed out that he should quit complaining as mine hasn’t come back yet because of breastfeeding, so it’s been nearly a year and half since he’s had to live with even one woman on her period. OK, right, the point.). This left us with just a few – we eliminated one because “it annoyed us” and then essentially went the eenie meanie route on the remainders to finally pick one.

As we finished, I headed to the mother’s room to feed our new proud high chair owner, as she was getting a bit fussy. This left my husband alone to buy the high chair. Alone save the pregnant couple down the aisle who were picking out other items for a registry. He looked at them and remembered that moment and decided it was time to be the senior statesman and let the dad to be in on his wisdom. It went something like this.

Hubby: Look, when you have the baby, the first few weeks are going to effing suck, but then it gets better.
Dad to be: (I’m guess his face said, huh, do I know you? But his mouth said) Um, OK.
Hubby: Seriously. You’ll get through it and then it will get better.
DTB: Yeah, ok.
Hubby: I’m telling you. Just survive those first few weeks.
DTB: (guessing his inner monologue was now more – how do I get out of this conversation?) OK. Um, thanks.

We try to do what we can to help those that have come after us. I can’t wait till he starts imparting knowledge to our daughter (and till she starts repeating it and I have to tell her not to use those words – as I believe there were quite a few more F bombs in the actual speech…).

Rock & roll all day and party every night

You know that scene in Role Models where the guy misquotes “I want to rock and roll all day and part of every night.” You know till like 8, but then I want to get some stuff done and get a good night’s sleep. The munchkin must not have caught that part. It’s like we’re hitting the rebellious teenage up all night years early. She won’t go to bed. I know, I know. She’s 7 months old. She doesn’t “go” to bed. I put her there. But the thing is I’ve tried ‘putting her’ there and she screams – incessantly. I’ve tried waiting her out, but she can go on for 10 or 20 minutes (she’s really quite wily…). The last few nights we’ve spent about 2 hours in her nursery trying to convince her it’s bedtime – while she rubs her eyes and yawns and we think we’re making progress, but then she changes her mind and is a bouncing / kicking fool! There’s no stopping her. It starts to drive us nuts (especially as this is most often when the biting during breastfeeding occurs – oh, my favorite…). Then she finally quiets and as she’s nursing, she curls her own hand around my finger – and it’s so cute, I forget that I’m tired – and hey, annoyed with her! – and she’s my angel again.